What am I doing? Why is she/he acting like that? Am I doing something wrong? Ugh I'm the worst mom ever. Sound familiar? We all let the enemy into our thought process and end up doubting ourselves daily. I know I do.
TRUTH: you are not a failure. God put these kids in your life for a reason and He makes no mistakes. Give yourself a little grace today. be encouraged by the realizations that I have been reflecting on this month as i attempt this mom of three thing:
My first realization was that my kids are not a direct reflection of me. They are their own little unique human. They are sinners just like you and I. They are a mixture of their momma, their daddy, and whatever God puts inside there to create a beautiful human being I truthfully don’t understand. They will make many MANY mistakes, they are learning, & they are children.
-We are going to cut back on TV time. I know the stigma now is to “let things go” and “take that break” & thats fine, but it doesn’t work with my children. Yes, I let them watch Elmo or Barbie while I get ready to leave the house in the morning or have a 30 minute task that has to get done right now and nothing else will entertain them. However, if the TV time lasts over an hour, their brains start to deteriorate and they act tired, grumpy, mean & just flat out naughty. Its almost like the TV sucked the imagination & process to think for themselves right out of their bodies. We also don’t have cable so they have to chose a show on Netflix which means NO COMMERCIALS and when the show is over, its over! I remember all of the commercials we watched as kids and wanted every single THING we saw. I am so glad my kids don’t have to watch commercials. P.S. We don’t allow any TV before big sister leaves for school in the morning because it was a huge distraction for her, created a lot of arguments, yelling, whining, & just over all chaos. This has worked WONDERS for my sanity in our morning routine I highly recommend it. here are a few shows i do let my kids watch (mom approved by me)
- Story Bots on Netflix
- Beat Bugs on Netflix
- Curious George the series on PBS
- Daniel Tigers Neighborhood on PBS (more so my 2 year old)
- Sesame Street on PBS
- Clifford the big red dog or puppy days
- Disney movies (because I love to watch them heh)
-I am going to start “time-blocking” instead of multitasking. It’s funny, in most of my moms groups lately we have all been talking about this topic-how to be more present with our children. Lately I have been anxious and stressed out, which leads me to be short tempered and not nice to the three people I love the most. I had been praying and reflecting on why I had been feeling this way because I desperately want to enjoy this time with my children at home. I then learned the concept of blocking out time to do one specific task and get it done from start to finish in an alloted period of time.
THIS. IS. HARD. I have always been a multitasker. I could juggle slinging snacks while talking to my husband while starting a load of laundry while cooking dinner. But this way of “momming” doesn’t make me happy and it doesn’t make my family happy. I was/am mentally over loaded all the time. I have implemented my new strategy this past week and am already seeing a difference in my kids and my attitude. For example I tell Brilynn, “Mommy can play five games of Guess Who with you and then I have to go do some laundry.” I schedule out my time with her (OFF MY PHONE) and then move on to the next task. Her love tank is full because she got some undivided attention and I can still mentally check things off my to do list.
-Speaking of being OFF MY PHONE… I’m going to make an effort to put my phone down for most of the day. No more mindless Facebook scrolling. Its insane how much time I spend on my phone for no apparent reason. Its pretty sad when my two year old sees my phone in the other room and immediately he will bring it to me like he knows my phone needs to be in my hands. Talk about self reflection….
-Use positive reinforcement. Its so hard not to get caught up in what my kids are not doing or what they are doing wrong that I forget to tell them what they’re doing right and using positive reinforcement to boost their confidence.
-Think about how I want my kids to see me as a mom. Sheesh laweesh what a hard question to answer. I want to be a fun mom! I want to be the mom that is attentive and plays with her kids. I want them to know that I love them unconditionally forever and always. That their mom loves God and they can see God in me. I want them to know how much of a blessing they are to me. I want them to make mistakes and learn from them. I want them to know they can talk to me about anything. I want to always be honest with them and teach them how important it is to always be truthful. Simply, I want them to say “my mom is kind, gentle, and she loves me.”
What are some of the mom reflections you want to remember to have a great year with your kids?